It isn’t for me

Written by: Ms. Cheeru

If it isn’t about mutual respect, it isn’t for me.

It’s that easy.  

Isn’t it? In a world where anyone can say “let’s breakup” and just move on, why are a few still stuck in relationships that are like, really toxic or abusive? Be it, verbal, emotional or physical. Why is that?  It can be because they are unaware of the whole idea of it or else because they are forced to.  The latter need not be by the other person always, it can be even you.  Like, at some point of time some people look so inevitable in life for some others that they force themselves to stay in a relationship.  The other times it’s because of the perspective from which we look at things. Or the perspective we are taught to.  That way we tend to believe that it’s “okay” to be so, to act so or else to react so, when it definitely isn’t.  The trespass gets normalized somehow.

Then how can one ascertain that they’re caught in an abusive relationship? That comes with the realization that where there is love, there is no place for domination of one or humiliation of the other person. Someone can’t claim to love you and treat you like a trash at one and the same time. From indirect sarcastic jokes to direct comments that puts you down, to the blames and guilt tripping  and from raising the voice to raising the hand, all hints at the same actuality, that, your relationship isn’t a healthy one.

                The way out of such a relationship isn’t easy either. The ‘significant other’ might me threatening you, the society will be disappointed with you but you can’t let somebody else be in charge of your life. You can’t just compromise your life and happiness for the sake of someone else. It’s worth way more than that. Choose you over anyone and any relationship. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Neither is the world so small, nor is you trapped. To live, to start afresh….

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